ON JOY
For most of my 25-year-old life, I thought playing football was my life’s most important calling. In many ways, it always was for me. On top of the exhilaration of competition and the thrill of victory, football gave me a sense of identity. As one of the top young quarterbacks in high school and eventually college, my skills and success on the field garnered national attention, as well as thousands of fans and followers from around the country. The fame football brought me was exciting and the notoriety enticing. I felt admired and respected, and as long as things were going well, I was happy. As long as I was winning, I was content.
Shortly after I began my college career, however, things stopped going as smoothly. I faced mental health struggles, dealt with injuries, and I didn’t play as well as I had in the past. All of a sudden the fame and notoriety declined. How was I to define myself then?
Some thorough soul-searching — and the counsel of loved ones — helped me realize that football and fame are fickle, and that if I only sought solace in a subjective stadium of opinions and outcomes, I wouldn’t find genuine, unconditional happiness. Instead, my worth and well-being would solely be based on what other people thought of me. I knew this was no way to live.
Through experiences both heartwarming and heart-wrenching, I discovered personally that true peace comes from within, and that lasting joy comes not from self-absorption, but selflessness.
What I also learned is that my gifts and talents as a football player gave me a platform — a following to connect with and a voice to reach them — and I felt inspired to use it for good. I began transforming my motives for succeeding on the football field. I still play the same game, but why I do it has completely changed. I still compete my hardest and always play to win, but now, my perspective has shifted. Instead of using the sport to boost myself up, I seek to use it as a vehicle to stand up for and uplift others, to make a difference in the world around me.
As opposed to seeking simple happiness, which is often flighty and outcome-based, I now find true joy in serving selflessly, giving generously, and in seeking to uplift and inspire others to do the same. What’s most beautiful is that pursuing these ideals is completely and unconditionally within my power, free of outside influence or expectations. Every human is on a distinct, unique journey, but this truth is universal: Where you find your joy is entirely up to you.
Football itself is finite, but the platform it gave me — and more importantly what I do with that platform — will last forever. And as it turns out, maybe playing football can still be my life’s most important calling — just perhaps not for the reasons I had originally imagined.